I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining types of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the very first time in an extended while, I don’t feel alone.
Part of me wanted to stay longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I will be this for the incorrect reason; as a means to prevent my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to share wasn’t yet clear during those times; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have let you see inside. a course in miracles Don’t want it troubling your brain, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I really could not think of whatever I’d stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I’d in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents’peace of mind, by just my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for many years, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief is being (has been?) released.
There are other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t think of them right now.